i so totally owe my daddy a BIG apology. i was so caught up with my selfish self and totally *poof* on reality. i realized that my dad didn't exactly on purpose wanted to ruin my dreams. no. he simply cares for me & I'm the one not appreciating what he has done for me. i know sorry is not enough, so I'm gonna prove to you that i can so totally ace college. i love you daddy. you've thought me from right to wrong and thanks to you, I'm the person i am today. i just want to thank you for taking care for me. and honestly, i just want you to know that i didn't mean what i said. i was just too emotional and depressed. its my fault. not yours. I'm gonna prove to you that i can actually do something, while i study. all i need is for you to just believe in me in what i do.
hah, just when i was looking forward to perform for the VIP's in may, Colours of Malaysia. one of the big BIG events in Malaysia, my dad just had to ruin the excitement. common, you already know how into dancing i am. and you just had to tackle me unexpectedly? it might be fun for you. but, me? it hurts more than 1000 stabs on my heart. i never felt this way before. let me tell you one thing, im growing up. and seriously, you didnt even had a chance to see me grow. too busy with work and the other things you had to do. i bet if i ask you whats my favorite colour, you wont even know. you dont even know how happy i was during rehearsals and practices for every event. dancing is actually something really REALLY important to me, cause at the end of the day, i know i've completed something in life. sure, architecture... its not even 100% my decision. i dont even believe in myself being in this course. i want to have a simple life without sleepless nights. i wanna be in that light for something people appreciate. you've only supported me in what you chose for me to do. im tired of this. i have my own life to control. you cant tell me what i can and cant do. i know you know whats best for me, but, i wanna take risks. its all in the proses in learning right? at this very moment, all i wanna do is CRY my HEART out. so, i guess. i btter get goin and just, well, move on. good bye abang azwar, abang eddie, kak ana and all the awesome choreographers. im obsessed with dancing FYI? its stupid! common sara, GET OVER IT! die obsession, DIE!! im tired and i gonna go cool my mind down. stupid dancing, stupid hobby, stupid life. all i wanted was for you to give me full support and tell me youre proud of me and also tell me how talented i am. but no... all you could say is im wasting my time. thanks a lot!!
now, dancing has always been my passion. last two years, i used to perform a traditional dance for every event in petaling jaya. getting money wasnt really a problem. even thought it was like RM50 per show, at least it was still something. its a start, no? hehe. so, finally i had another feel of a traditional dance performance, once more. it was last saturday. practiced a day before the actual event. it was for my ex school's international understanding day. getting up on that stage, made me feel, happy.. its like, now a days, people tend to not find traditional dances as interesting as the mordern dances. its culture people! & whatever it is, its still our duty to not let our culture fade away. but i was happy that most of the audience were happy with our performance. i think, me and my team did quite a good job, showing people how 'interesting' traditional dances can be (':
here are some photos of last saturday (;
The before look
The after look
haha. yes yes. i know. whats up with the pose? me and purani here, as you all can see, we ARE posers. she's my junior by the way. nice and very ganas. haha. dont you dare mess with her. she BITES :p hehe. oh well.. back to the dancing thing, i really hope i can find people who are intrested in traditional dances in taylors. its a BIG opportunity to learn something new for a change, no? so, why not right? we, as the future generations of malaysia, must somehow help sustain the importance of traditional dances. woohhoooo